Heard It From A Friend

Frank, Frankie, Ace, Weasel, Wiley Coyote, Toys-R-Us boy - he went by many aliases. He had to, he loved REO.

Approaching his late twenties, he was living with three other guys in a dump called The Pleasure Dome, playing guitar all night, sleeping at work or skipping it to watch "fotbol Colombiano" - he invited many nicknames. Truth revealed, he was one of my roomates and best buds and an all around great guy. Plus, he introduced me to the woman who would later become my wife. Still, it was hard to forgive him for the REO thing. It's like forgiving someone for dinging your car door, then they toss a hand grenade underneath it. Forgiveness has limits.

It was the summer of 1997 - one of my top five summers ever. 100% pure fun. The sandy beaches of Chicago's northside were our hangout. Swimming, playing ultimate Frisbee, soccer and lots of beach volleyball. Where else can you have the endless options of the big city right next to carefree open freshwater beaches? Guitars slung on our backs, riding bikes, cooking out - we were living the dream.

So here's the story. It's Fourth of July. Everyone's coming to the beach for a major celebration. We start to divvy up the "to dos" amongst the guys. Frank goes silent which can only mean one thing: he's weaseling, he's got something else planned. He finally confesses that he's going out with his X girl on a date? But they're not getting back together, they're just friends. WTF? That's an invitation to a lot of crap from your buddies.

We started our interrogation: where are you going? Frankie was silent. Frank...where ARE YOU GOING???? Nothing. Waterboarding wasn't as acceptable then, so we Boated him. Boating was a way of life at The Pleasure Dome. It's when a bunch of people dive on you. It's an effective technique to immobilize, wake up, or just generally piss off a person.

We searched his pockets: concert tickets. Nooooooooooooo!!!!!! They were for REO Speedwagon. Ok, now let's review: a grown 20 something year old man is missing a great summer party with his best buds to go to a REO Speedwagon concert in the suburbs with his X who doesn't want to get back together with him. So we let him go. What else could we do at that point? It was just too sad to argue about.

The party was tons of fun. Everyone was there...except Frankie. We got home in the wee hours to find Frankie asleep. So we boated him. He was pissed. "Oh Frankie, please please tell us ALLLLLL about the concert." "How was REO?" Nothing. But something seemed to want to come out. A couple of Schlitzes later, he starts laughing and shaking his head to himself. "Frankie, is there something you want to tell us?" He hesitates, then says "well....here's the deal...

He's at the concert with his X. REO wraps up their sets. They come back for an encore...encore???? Ok, so the drummer, who is probably like the 12th drummer to be in the band, throws out his drumsticks into the crowd (God, what a totally wild show!!). One lands near Frankie. He dives for it. Another guy dives for it too. They start to tug. Tugs become blows. They fight. Security breaks it up. Frankie emerges victorious with stick in hand.

Frankie gets quiet. He looks down and clams up. We encourage him to continue. "Frankie, just tell us man, we won't laugh". But of course, we will. He raises his head, looks at us and says

"After security broke up the fight, I come up with the stick. Then...right then I stop and look around - I realize I'm at a fu*king REO Speedwagon concert, I'm with my X, it's fourth of July and I'm fighting over a drumstick."

He gave the stick to the other guy and came home.

To offer comfort, we got out our guitars and serenaded him with "Take It On the Run" by REO Speedwagon. A song we still play today in his honor. But we altered the lyrics to the chorus from "You Take It On The Run" to...

You take it up the bum Frankie

but that's the way you want it Frankie,

And I'd put that drumstick down..."

Hey Frankie..we love ya man.