Here We Are Now, Entertain Us

April 7, 1994 was a day that changed a lot of lives forever: when Kurt Cobain was found dead due to a self-inflicted shotgun wound. Many people believe that when Cobain died, alternative rock died with him. I dont know if I necessarily agree with that statement, but I do know this: Nirvana changed my entire outlook on music forever.

I started listening to Nirvana about a year after Kurt Cobain's death, but I wish more than anything they were still around today. Or I at least wish that he didnt die so young so I could have witnessed first hand what they wouldve become.

Nirvana had such a huge impact on how the entire music scene changed in the early 90's. Similar to how Madonna affected the whole attitude and attire of the 80's, Nirvana did just that to the 90's when they evolved. They started the whole Seattle rock grunge era. Suddenly, it didnt matter if you could play the guitar like Jimi Hendrix or sing like Stevie Wonder. As long you could scream, play power chords and wore torn flannel, you could be a rock star.

Teens everywhere went ballistic. Society loved them. The funny thing was that I dont think Cobain ever expected society to react the way they did. He didnt plan on being a rock star. He even admitted that half of the lyrics he wrote didnt even make sense. He threw together some nonsense lyrics, a few power chords and some screams, and next thing you know, he became an icon to teens all over the world. Seattle had suddenly become the new Los Angeles: the place to be.

My Nirvana obsession began when I was thirteen years old. Kurt Cobain absolutely fascinated me. He wasnt a very talented guitarist or vocalist, but he was passionate and more importantly, he was different. He was unlike any other musician I had ever seen or heard. His music made me feel something. Like every other emotional, angry teen in America, listening to Nirvana tapped into those deep emotions. It sparked something inside of me. I felt like there was finally someone out there who understood all the angry, depressing emotions that I was experiencing. And I'm sure every other angry teen in American felt the same way.

Smells Like Teen Spirit was the song that forever changed 90's music. When I first heard it, I couldn't believe my ears. I listened to it on repeat for days, and I knew I had to hear more. Someone that was genius enough to write a song as brilliant as this had to have written more. I was intrigued.

Eventually, one by one, I bought all of their albums and spent all my free time listening to them. Then I moved on to buying bootlegs, rare CDs and compilation CDs they were featured on. I think at one point, I probably owned every Nirvana t-shirt and CD known to man.

When I wasnt listening to Cobains music, I was spending all my time reading about him. I was devastated that someone who was such a passionate singer and had such an impact on the music scene could take his own life. The fact that I would never be able to see Nirvana live was heartbreaking. I watched their live performances on T.V. and wished more than anything that I was one of the people in the audience. Not only was the music great, but man, was Kurt Cobain gorgeous.

Pretty soon, my entire wardrobe consisted of ripped jeans, torn flannel and band T-shirts. I remember going to my first concert to see Pearl Jam in Connecticut. The concert was amazing. I loved everything about it: the live music, the people all dressed the same way I was and especially the vibe and energy. My music obsession had hit its all- time peak.

VH1 had a documentary recently on the 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s and of course, the infamous Smells Like Teen Spirit was number one. I guess I wasnt the only one who was greatly impacted by that song. I can honestly say that it changed my life and my entire outlook on music forever. And something tells me I'm not alone.