A True Friend

A while back I went through a time when I was really depressed. Sometimes a bunch of bad things happen all at once and it's so hard to deal with because you feel overwhelmed like the whole world is falling down around you. This happened to me a while back. Between the death of my best friend and failing out of school and my parents basically disowning me and the boy I wanted saying we couldn't be together on top of my terrible job and being completely out of money with bills piling up, I just couldn't handle it. One night I was listening to this song on repeat for the sole purpose of hearing the line "and I just had no intention of livng this way/ I need a phone call" I was not in a good state of mind.

I have always been a pretty happy person and I have always been very rational but tonight, alone, I couldn't cope. I was sitting in the middle of my living room with an empty bottle of vodka, a razor blade and enough sleeping pills to kill an elephant. I had cut my wrists badly and there was blood all over the place. I'm not emo, in fact, I despise being around people who wallow in their sadness instead of getting help. Now that I have been on the other side of the fence I kind of understand how people get that way though.

Just as I was getting ready to take the sleeping pills, my friend James walks in and almost falls over with fright. I just looked at him, knowing that I couldn't kill myself and knowing that I needed help. I raised my hands toward him and he immediately came and picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. He set me down in the bathtub and turned on the shower so he could wash all the blood off me. We both sat in the bathtub for a long time and he held me. I cried for the first time in months and it felt so good. He saved me and at the same time made me realize that someone besides the bill collectors would care if I died. That was probably the coolest thing anyone has ever done for me.

Needless to say, things aren't bad like they were. I've since been able to get back to my usual happy self.