No One Knows

There is one video that especially freaks me out, "No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age.  It isn't because the video is especially freaky or weird.  I had a bad experience with a dead dear and I have a slight fear that the deer will decide to hunt me down like it does in the video. 
My friend Robby and I were driving home from a movie in east Orlando, FL.  It was 12 or 1, kind of late, but nothing crazy.  We're driving down the road, when all of a sudden we see a deer carcass in the middle of the road.  Robby is driving and takes evasive measures, and swerves around the deer.  Luckily, we missed it.  I looked back, I'm not sure why.  You always look back when something like that happens.  Just as I turned around, I saw the minivan behind us run straight over the deer.  Didn't try and miss it, just thump, and it hits it.  I told Robby and we laughed about how much it would suck to hit a deer with a car.  In his car, a Toyota Celica, it would have ripped the front end off. 
About three or four miles down the road we came to a double left-hand turn.  We were in the left-most left turn, and who else but the minivan that hit the carcass pulled up in the turn lane next to us.  We laughed about how much it would suck to hit a deer, again. 
The light changes colors, and we start out into the intersection.  The minivan begins to pull a head of us, and just as it does, I noticed it.  The deer staring up at me.  The back half had lodged under the bumper, and the top half was being drug on the ground behind the minivan.  It was staring at us, quitetly begging, "Heeelp Meee, Heeelp Meee".  We sped up, and I hung out the car window and start waving at her.  She looks over at me and looks a way quickly, probably thinks we are some hooligans trying to rob her or just some high school kids messing around.  She turns her head, and starts to speed up.  So we speed up and I wave at her some more, and yell even though she probably couldn't hear me, "You have a deer stuck to your car." (Probably the most ridiculous sentence I have ever yelled.)  She looks for a second trying to figure out what I was saying, then it hits her and she looks horrified.  We pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall, the most common scenery in Orlando. 
Robby and I are standing there looking at it. It looks back at us.  We look at the lady, she looks at us with almost the same stunned look the deer has.  Robby and I look at each other and know this is about to get really messy.  We grabbed some plastic bags from Robby trunk and walk over to the deer. We both grab on to it's front legs and begin pulling.  Heave, heave, jerk, jerk, nothing.  The deer wiggles, but is stuck firmly in her undercarriage.  We tried again, and still nothing.  Robby looks at me, and says "I'm going in."  Shocked I replied, "What do you mean, I'm going in?"  "I'm going in," he says curtly. 
He proceeds to slide under the car like a mechanic changing the oil, and starts tugging at the hind legs of the deer.  He spends some time trying to pull the thing out from under the car and finally he frees it.  Wearing plastic bags and deer blood and fur.  He gets out from under the car and tells the lady its out.  She looks at it, doesn't know what to do.  She quickly thanked us and bolted.  Gone. 
So Robby and I are standing there with a deer carcass.  "We can't just leave it here," he says.  "What do you mean, we can't just leave it here?" I asked.  Robby had noticed a pre-school with a playground.  We knew we had to do it.  Like something from the Sopranos, we carried the body to the fence, and flung it over.  It hit precisely where we were aiming, the bottom of the slide.  The things you do in high-school are so ridiculous sometimes.  The thought of a bunch of little kids running to the playground, to see Bambi, mutilated at the bottom of a slide was hilarious.  It is really funny to think little children would be scared for life because Bambi was dead, and the teachers at the school would have no clue what to do with it, just like us. 
The reason I think of Queens of the Stone Age, is that the deer comes and seeks his revenge on the people who hit him with a car.  I have a weird fear that one day I'll be driving down a dark, back-country road when a deer is going to jump out in the middle of the road.  All of his deer friends are going to come get me seeking revenge for their buddy we tossed to the bottom of a pre-school slide.