Teenage Angst and Pearl Jam

I moved around a lot during high school. My moving was inspired by two inevitable truths in my life. One, I was a Navy brat, and two I was a self-inflicted badass who refused to acknowledge authority. By the grace of God, however, I managed to survive all of the, nine, high schools I had attended and graduate high school.

It was my junior year, and I was living in, middle of nowhere, Georgia attending high school number six when Pearl Jam came on my walkman. I was taking a standardized test in the library during first period, which otherwise would have been my English class, and the song Jeremy rang in my ears. I can remember answering math questions and humming the lyrics "Ooh, but we unleashed the lion" and then "just like the day. Ooh, like the day I heard" and feeling so empowered. I remember crying in the middle of testing at the line "And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear" and looking around at the white walls of the library and feeling sad. I am shocked even to this day that anything, especially a song, could have invoked such emotions in me. Self-proclaimed tough guy or not, I have never in my life been so emotional.

It is so strange how well I related to that song, even while answering basic math problems. How through my teenage angst I could empathize with Jeremy, and how I envied him, in some sick way, for the enormous movement his death invoked, and how loudly his voice called out

Every single time I hear or am reminded of that song I remember how difficult it can be growing up, and how appreciative I am now to have obtained self-realization.