My Beautiful Boy

Of all the songs ever composed by John Lennon that have touched my soul, none have ever helped describe the big beating heart that I've permanently worn on my sleeve since the day my son was born. He amazes me more and more each and every day. As John said, every day it just gets better and better.

All of sudden a few weeks ago he started talking with this valley surfer guy Northern California accent (he's only 5). I've been laughing about it and telling everyone who'll listen how funny it is. Then I always say, "and I don't know where he got it from". It wasn't until I was talking to an old friend recently on the phone, telling her about it his new accent, that it became clear where it came from. She laughed and then said, "Have you never heard yourself talk?" Oh yea, he got it from me. That makes sense, he's my son.

I hope and pray everyday that I'm doing a good job raising him. I hope that every night he feels safe, protected, and most of all loved. He is truly a walking miracle, and I can't believe he's mine. I can't believe that one day my husband and I decided to create a human life, and then we did. 

These are things that I think about all the time, but they mean more on a day like today. Infact it was a day, just like this one, exactly five years ago today that I laid in a hospital room staring out a window. An IV was hooked to my arm and I was in pain, I was tired, and this song was playing in my head. I laid in that bed wondering what it would be like to hold my son in my arms. Before the day was through, I found out. My life would never be the same again.

Now here I am five years later, staring out my office window. Hoping his 5th party is all he's hoping it will be. He's in his room trying to nap, and I'm sitting here with this song playing in head. Happier then I ever thought I could be.