Car Chases & Cowboys

When I was 17 I was a badass. At least, I was pretty sure I was at the time. I hung out with a group of six other badasses. We were such badasses infact, that we had our own theme song, Roadhouse Blues by The Doors. This was so much our theme song, that a million different memories come to mind whenever I hear it. Today though, there is one memory that stands above the rest. My first car chase.

One day there was an "incident" involving a sophomore, who we'll simply call, Cowboy Dumbass, outside of a gas station near our highschool. Well some of my badass friends were outside this gas station, when Cowboy dumbass, sitting in his truck, made a few lewd remarks to them as they walked by. One of my friends, being such a badass, called him a number of names, completely embarrassing him, to the point that he started his truck and drove away. Like I said, badasses.

This incident was thought to be so minor, it wasn't even mentioned to those of us who weren't there. It would have never been mentioned either if cowboy dumbass could have kept his mouth shut and his foot on the brake. A few days later in the school parking lot, all my badass friends and I walked past cowboy dumbass sitting in his truck with a friend. We didn't even notice him as we made our way to our own cars. Noticing the girl who had embarrassed him the previous day, Cowboy dumbass said to his friend loud enough for us all to hear, "There's that cunt that mouthed off to me at the gas station". Within seconds all seven of us were on him like white on rice.

Cowboy dumbass, feeling a little intimidated by seven screaming women, decided driving away was his best bet. Unfortunately in the chaos of the moment, he backed into two of my friends. Neither of them were actually hurt, but we were pumped and all screamed "It's ON".

Now I don't know if fate was simply manning the stereo that day, or if my friend happened to have the Doors in her tape player, but as we all hopped into her Chevy truck, Roadhouse Blues was playing. We chased Cowboy Dumbass through the neighborhoods surrounding our high school. Our hearts were pumping as we all sang very loudly along with The Doors, "Keep your eyes on the road, your hand upon the wheel"...

We finally chased Cowboy Dumbass back to the parking lot, where a small crowd had gathered. News of a car chase in high school spreads fast. Cowboy dumbass pulled into a parking spot and without even taking the keys from the ignition, jumped out of the car and started to run for the office. The seven of us surrounded him, still pumped, and began yelling and screaming.

The principal came running out and the crowd parted. It wasn't until the principal had gotten the crowd and us to settle down, that we noticed the big wet stain on the front of Cowboy dumbass's pants. That's right, we scared the piss right out of him.

The principal, after finally getting us to quiet down and give him a clear account of what had happened, suspended Cowboy dumbass for running into my friends. Though they weren't really hurt, they did have marks from where the truck had hit them. To us, the principal simply said, "and as for you ladies, no more car chases during your lunch hour."

The seven us of walked through the parking lot to our cars yelling "Let it roll baby roll, Let it roll baby roll, Let it rooolllll all night long..."