My Husband's Funeral

Music was one of the things that brought my husband and I together.  Sam loved most all kinds of music, although he had limited tolerance for country and easy listening. He introduced me to Talking Heads, Pink Floyd, Aretha Franklin, and he made mix tapes that I still listen to today – and not just because I loved him. 

He had grown up in Harlem, and gone to prep school before college, but home was his parents’ place in Georgia.  It looked like any suburban street, but the attitude was country. When Sam died flying out to meet me in California, I took him home to bury him.  Sam had a great deal of faith, but not much religion. His first wedding was consecrated by Buddhist monk, he and I were married in the Botanic Gardens, and we attended church more often on occasional visits to Georgia than we ever did in NY.

His parents, however, had long been pillars of the church, and his funeral was a Southern Baptist event.  We sang “Shall We Gather by the River”, “How Great Thou Art”, “Amazing Grace”, and other standards from the Baptist Hymnal.  It was good, but I wanted to make the funeral speak of his life. My friends helped, and put on  MJQ’s “Death in Venice” as the casket wheeled out.  Just as we hit the door, they changed the music to Blood, Sweat & Tears singing  “I’m not Scared of Dying”.

Sam loved to surprise people and to bring them joy, and that joyous, rocking sound evoked his spirit. As his cousin said, “That was Sam”. It was the only singing and dancing funeral that town had ever seen.