My son and I

When I was a teenager, my parents did not have too strict a deadline for returning after going out at night. However, they did have a few rules, which at the time I felt were excessively restrictive in regard to my social life. If I was out after dark, I had to be given a lift home. This rule might sound reasonable, except my friends did not all live near to me, many in the opposite direction from my home. It was out of their way to drive me home. Also, I used a pushbike for transportation, so was unable to be given a lift if I used this, limiting my outings. The other major rule that restricted my trips was that I had to let my parents know at what time I would arrive home. This would be fine if I were going bell-ringing, but when I popped down the pub with the ringers afterwards, we never had a set time for departing. We might stay one hour, or two. I was not really under lock and key, but it felt very much that way at the time.

As a mother, I allow my son quite a lot of freedom. I live in a fairly safe city where the usual crime is graffiti, drunkenness, or illegal car racing. My son does not go out late anyway, preferring to depart too early than return too late. He will happily set out the moment the sun arrives for a long nature ramble or to take the track along the coast. He prefers to keep to himself and nature, so I do not have to worry about him falling in with the wrong crowd and becoming a graffiti addict or stuck on drugs. My main rules being not to leave the house without telling me and not to leave before the sun rises!

Comparing this to my own teenager years, I feel he has far more freedom, rather than less. He still complains as much as I did to my parents though - he feels under lock and key. However, compared to most teenagers, we both had a fairly free deal.