Amusement in hell

Most people enjoy a good laugh, but not everyone has the same sense of humor. I was born with a sense of humor that was slightly askew; I did not find the same tings funny that other people did. For instance, I might snicker my body into the shakes over a schoolteacher having misspoken a sentence, whereas a fellow student slipping over flat on their butt caused the other students to burst into hysterics and me to feel a pang of smileless shock.

I could often see the funny side of my own life, thankfully. I would feel terrible if I always laughed at other people's misfortunes but could not raise a smile when in my own trouble. Appreciating the ridiculousness of a situation can oftentimes provide sufficient mirth to survive it. When encountering a financial crisis during 2007, I might have taken the attitude of fear or anger amidst my insecurity. Luckily, I mostly saw the funny side.

It may not appear amusing to have a tenancy termination giving you just three days to remove your family, belongings and self from your home without any provision of alternative shelter in sight. However, when explaining my predicament to friends and charity workers alike, I would often toss in a chuckle, as I saw the crazy impossibleness of my situation.

When discussing matters at the crisis point with one friend, they borrowed Fee's song as illustration of how much my character had changed over the past year. "You should be singing that song Fee had on his old album," they had said to me. I questioned them as to which one, having not played it for a few years. "You're still laughing, of course," their reply. Thinking about it, the title did indeed seem appropriate. I was two days away from my teenage son, a houseful of belongings and myself becoming homeless, but there I was chuckling over the possibility of living life from a cave in much the same way as the Buddhist practitioners I had just finished reading a library book about were.