What do you do when your foundation falls apart?

When i was 16 i met a boy who would change my life. His name isn't important. But what is, is that not a day goes by when i don't wish things weren't so complicated. He'll always be my first love. As much as you can love a person at 16, that's what i felt for him.

The summer i turned 16 was the beginning of my independence. I could finally drive, stay out until 9 on school nights, and i no longer had a weekend curfew. My friends and i spent all summer at the roller rink and the beach. And youth group every wednesday.

Now, i feel compelled to explain to anyone reading this that i am Wiccan. And i do not believe in the lord, or satan for that matter. Still the issue of my going to youth group every wednesday for three years seems to throw people off. I went to see my friends, and because i was enthralled by Pastor Dan (who is still a major influence to me). They welcomed me with open arms despite my obvious differences. And i'm still grateful to them for that.

Coincidentally i owe meeting my first real boyfriend at a youth group meeting.

We were very close from the start, and we were only together a month or so when i first lied to my mom in order to stay the night over at his house in New Buffalo. New Buffalo is a town thirty minutes away from my hometown, and i had plenty of friends from there already because of skating and church. So it wasn't hard to weave a tale for my mother of a sleep over at my friend Emily's house. We even lied to the youth group director (not Dan, i could never lie to dan, oddly enough that night he wasn't there or i doubt i'd have gone through with the plan out of guilt) about my parent's knowing i was going back on the bus to New Buffalo instead of my town.

I recall meeting his mom for the first time when she ended up picking us up instead of taking the bus because they figured we were lying. They even called my mom, but she was out of town for the weekend since both my brother and i were going to be gone. Theresa was so sweet and amazing. Down to earth and simple she tells it like it is, and she'll always be like my second mom. She picked us up and took us back to her house before leaving for the casino.

I know you're probably thinking what irresponsible parents we both have. But that's just how people are where we come from. Needless to say that was the night i lost my virginity. It was magical to me, and i don't regret it. Our relationship took off from there. We were practically inseperable. Eventually i introduced my mother to Theresa so that i could stay over there without lying to my mom. And they hit it off well enough that my mom agreed. So i practically lived in New Buffalo that summer, i made amazing friends that i still talk to.

I wish i could say we were still together. But we were together for three years, which is forever in teenage years. And all of high school for me. I graduated in 2004 and we were supposed to move in together. I won't get into the hairy details, but things fell apart hard and fast. We didn't talk for two years, which killed me because he was my best friend for a long time. We talk now, and we are planning on hanging out again this summer. He got married to my other friend and they have two boys together. I haven't seen or talked to her in forever it seems, so i can't wait to play catch up.

This song may not have come out until 2006, but it perfectly captures our relationship JUST the way i want to remember it. Young, innocent, and on the backroads of our small towns.