Swing away

i'm swinging on this swing
and i'm singing these words
wonderwall
by oasis
and i'm suddenly 10 and i'm swinging next to amanda
and angel and kristen and lauren
they're talking about boys they like
and i'm just singing
they whisper about how weird i am
but i ignore them and keep swinging
i go higher and higher
the harder i pump my legs the louder the song gets in my head
i want it to drown out all this
i don't want to think about my dad or mom
about how stupid adults are
how my grandma is really sick
mostly i don't want to feel odd anymore
i don't know why all these girls are friends with me
no one ever shows up at my birthday parties
but they all give me christmas cookies and valentines day cards
and every halloween without fail we go trick or treating together
i think they just want to stare at me
they start rumors that i'm a lesbian
because i don't talk about boys
i talk about constalations and planets
i'm in the astronomy club
and of course i'm the only girl
i play barbies with them
but my barbie has brown hair and wants to be an artist or a doctor
she doesn't want kids and a ken
so my barbie isn't ever invited to the houses of other barbies
the boys at school don't know weather to include me or shun me
because i am one of them in most practical ways
but i still have girl cooties
i kissed ryan behind the junglegym once
but his lips were dry and chapped and i swear i tasted blood
my first kiss was even a failure
so i sing a little bit louder
and as i pump harder i find myself going as far as i can go
my momentum is shaking the metal frame of the swing set now
and the girls are staring at me backing away slowly
i lay back and close my eyes
the wind in my hair
the sun against my eyelids
building my own wonderwall between me and real life
this i remember