album art

Artist:

Elliott Smith

Song:

Pitseleh

Album: 

XO

Year: 

1998

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About The Artist

Elliott Smith started out as the leader of Portland-based alt-rock band Heatmiser, who made three mid-1990s albums achieving good reviews but...
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Jishi-Girl | MEMORY FROM 2003

Guilt

LOCATION: dorms , Gambier, OH

YEAR: 2003

TAGS: friends, guilt, sadness

PUBLISHED: February 25, 2008

I love this song. I think it's beautiful. I like the sound and I like the lyrics. It sounds like heartbreak. It is the kind of powerful song that makes you want to cry just by listening to it. I have a great deal of respect for it. And the word "Pitseleh" sounds like love, fondness, and care. To hurt someone that you care about so breaks your heart.

When I inadvertantly hurt a friend's fragile feelings deeply, it seemed only fitting that I would listen to "Pitseleh." I wanted to tell my friend that this was exactly how I felt. I was so angry, I didn't know if it would ever pass. And, most importantly, I wanted to tell her, "I never meant to hurt you."

The song is beautiful and I related to it that year, but the more I listened to it, the more it seemed like my feelings of guilt were spiraling out of control. It seeemed to just say, over and over again, that I had done something wrong, that I had hurt an angel, my "Pitseleh." Eventually I had to stop listening to it, and I still can't listen to it much, without sadness welling up in my heart. 

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