Unite And Take Over!

I used to shoplift. Quite a bit actually, and it was always stuff I didn't need. Of course, I always had the money. But growing up bored in the suburbs outside Philly and having a penchant for trouble, we had to make our own fun. What better way to do it than to walk into a store, put something in your clothes and walk right out?

I haven't shoplifted since middle school, so I'm guessing that I just simply grew out of it. My fascination with baseball cards and candy I also grew out of, as they were the items I chose to steal the most of. Well, I still like candy, but I enjoy paying for it now. And somewhere in my parents' attic, in boxes, are those old baseball cards.

We used to have "stealing contests". We'd all meet up after school, pick up our stashed skateboards and head to the Manoa Shopping Center. G. C. Murphy's & Co. was our target 99% of the time, and this was back in the day before surveilance cameras and security guards, so we had an easy go of it.

The rules to our stealing contests were simple: we'd either choose quality or quantity. Quality items would be things like bicycle tires and inner tubes, sunglasses, socks, blank cassette tapes, etc. The quantity items were candy, candy and more candy, the smaller the better as you could fill your tight-rolled pant leg up with about 300 Swedish Fish or those delicious Goldenberg's Peanut Chews. 

Bazooka Joe gum was another favorite, I've chewed so much of that stuff I never want to see it again as long as I live. Or maybe it just reminds me of having my tightey-whiteys stuffed to the gills with it.

Being the Smiths' fan that I was, I pretty much took all my direction from Morrissey. So, when he said it was okay to steal, believe you me, I stole. And everytime I hear this song, I'm taken right back to those days of my youth when "ganking" was a full-time job.

I mean, c'mon, who's gonna arrest a 12-year old for stealing candy and baseball cards?