Solo Road Trip

Driving solo to visit my father in Florida from Connecticut early one summer, I vividly recall being somewhere along I-95--southern Nouth Carolina, I think. I had come up with (I thought) a brilliant idea: learning every syllable and nuance of Beck's rap-inflected anthem "Loser." You know it---the chorus is, "I'm a loserrrrr, babyyyyyyy, sooooo why-don'tcha-kill-me..." I thought it had this understated coolness. Plus, there were these irresistible semi-non-challant 'statements' in the breaks, "Let's get crazy with the Cheez Whiz," and "Drive by body pierce" (perfectly choreographed, of course) that were the utmost in groundbreaking irony/smarts--to me--at the time.

It began as an exercise to stay awake--which worked, but then I kept up out of pure determination to get the words/order/rapping correctly.

What I recall in that half-brain-dead dead-zone brought about from too little sleep, too many bright lights, and too many caffeinated beverages, was frustratingly tripping over which clever quip went where in quick sucessions as the task grew ever more difficult the harder I tried.

Endlessly hitting Rewind-Stop-Play, Rewind-Stop-Play, Fast Forward-Stop-Play (recall the unbridled joy of cassette decks?) as exits flew by with the car in cruise in the blazing southern sun and me pretending to be a rock star, I appeared more like an out-of-control banshee (well, I kind of was). I didn't even care if I had to use the facilities anymore. And I didn't feel hungry, or as tired, but--darn it!--I just HAD to get through that song one time without messing up! Argggghhhhh.

In upper Georgia, many hours later, I finally got off the highway for the night. Not turning off the car yet, however, I paid for my room then drove to the cottage-like dwelling, still trying to get it right one last time.

Never happened.

The next day I only listened to radio.

Today, although I still like the song, I can barely recall the phrases I'd seared into my brain and repeated probably 500 times, or more.

What a long, strange road trip it was.