I can sing!

When I was a little girl, around age nine or ten, my parents started fighting really badly because my father suddenly became a mean drunk.

While all of this was going on, I had no way to release the anger that I felt inside, so I became a bit of a nervous wreck for a while. I was also left alone at home (in my opinion) way too much. I got into plenty of trouble that my parents and friends still have no idea about, but that's, once again, for another time.

This musical memory is about finding a positive way to channel my rage.

Our house at that time had an in-set enclosed porch in it, which had a screen door on the outside, and a normal front door on the inside, except the front door had a large windo in the top half with white curtains on the inside. That door became my best friend one afternoon when I was left by myself, because I was singing a little song to myself that was on the radio when I looked out the window on the door. For the first time in my life, the sound waves bouncing off the window allowed me to hear what I sounded like when I sang.

I stood at that window for an hour singing "I'm like a bird" right into it, as close as I could get, and as loudly as I could at that age. I smile when I think about that moment because that's when I fell in love with singing and realized it made me feel better to do so. Anytime I was alone I would go to that window and sing out whatever song came to mind at the time. It's still my way to relieve stress, although I've figured out now how to measure pitches without the window, thank goodness.