you were right

"The memories of me will seem more like bad dreams"

We didn't really know each other, but you asked me to be yours. I accepted, despite the fact that you were almost 30 and working at a gas station. There was something about you, I can't quite put my finger on it. But it was intriguing. Your awkwardness was appealing to me, sexy almost. I wanted to know more, maybe because you weren't like anyone I currently knew or had dated in the past. Making mixed tapes in an era of playlists on ipods was endearing.

Some Day You Will be Loved was one you promised to put on a tape for me. I'm not entirely sure why, but I loved the song the instant I heard it. Looking back it was like you were trying to tell me something. You never got around to making me that mixed tape, but I downloaded all of the songs you told me about and made a cd to play in my car.

One whole day into our relationship we went to dinner with your friends and had the most amazing time. It was the best I had felt in ages. It was one of the first times I had felt I was letting go of my past. After dinner we went back to your little one room place near the alley, the one with only one lamp. We smoked a bowl and cuddled in the dark and my stomach did flips. And just like that it was over. You didn't think it was going to work, you didn't want this to work. You didn't even give it time to work.

"Just a series of blurs like I never occurred"

I had to trudge through your muddy yard in the rain to get back to my car. The first thing I did when I slammed the car door was rifle through my cds to find the one I had made. I bent it until it snapped and a million little shards of plastic went flying through the air. I threw the cd on the ground in hopes that you'd see it the next day and feel the regret of what you had done. I saw you in the side mirror as I drove away, standing on the curb looking just as awful as I felt.

"Some day you will be loved"

At least you were right about that much.