English class

I forever associate U2 with this immature and somewhat lewd memory...

Mr. N (name changed to protect certain key witnesses) taught my seventh-grade English class. My class was chock full of weirdo kids with all sorts of behavioral problems, but Mr. N was generally able to keep everybody calm and quiet.  He was overall a good guy, and I actually learned some worthwhile things in his class.  He was always trying to overcome our adolescent angst and boredom by introducing unusual lectures and assignments involving contemporary media like TV, movies, pop music, etc.

His teaching style was similar to that of Mrs. S, my sixth-grade English teacher, whose classroom was next door to Mr. N’s.  Mr. N and Mrs. S shared a teacher planning room in between the classrooms. 

Anyways, for one such assignment, Mr. N brought a boom-box into class and put in a U2 tape.  He played us “Sunday, Bloody Sunday” by Bono’s Massive Ego & Friends, and wrote the lyrics on the chalkboard.  After we’d listening to the song a few times, the class had a discussion about the meaning of the lyrics, and the historic event that the song referenced. 

It was pretty cool as far as middle school lectures go, especially since that song has a killer drumbeat and a good chorus.  The class was behaving well and everything was going smoothly.  Then we got to the lyric “We can be as one tonight.”  When Mr. N asked the class about the meaning of that lyric, Tyler’s hand shot into the air.  Tyler was a pain-in-the-ass bully who didn’t exactly make Honor Roll every semester, and I think Mr. N was so surprised to see Tyler’s hand raised that he called on Tyler immediately.  The conversation went as follows:

Tyler:  “That lyric means that U2 wants to have sex.”

 

Mr. N:  “What?”

 

Tyler:  “Y'know, Mr. N--sex--just like the other day when I came in here to get my bag after detention, and you had Mrs. S bent over the desk in the planning room.”

 

Mr. N:  “That’s it.  You’re going to the office.  I won’t stand for this.”

 

Tyler:  “Mrs. S stood for it.  Didn’t she?  Eh?  Eh?”

 

Mr. N then chased Tyler across the room and out the door.  One of the students pressed “play” on the boom-box and we all listened to U2 for the rest of the period.