Honesty

So, I'd been in this huge arguement/fight with my significant other, and it was just a horrible mess. It was the day I found out the truth about him and our relationship. After lie after lie after lie, the truth was finally out in the open...It was like a blow to the chest...

Trust is something in which I rarely give to anyone. I can count on one hand the people I've EVER trusted. This guy was one of them, on the top of the list even. He helped bring me out from low places, and was always there from me. He was there next to me on my journey to find myself. He never gave me a reason to not trust him, ever; or so I thought. Well, after being together for nearly 2 years, I finally realized the only truth behind our relationship was that it was based upon his lies, and that I was completely blind to the whole thing. I found out about him cheating and everything...All throughout our relationship. I tried talking to my girlfriends about it, and of course they sympathized, but they couldn't relate, because their men were the epitome of honesty, apparently. I was looking for sincerity, and someone who could relate. That person was Billy Joel. When I first heard Honesty, it was only a short while after the nasty break-up, and I could relate on every level. I mean, of course I've had my fair share of lies, but I'd never based a relationship upon them, as my ex had. He was my go-to-guy, the guy who I put my whole heart into and it made me the most vulnerable I'd ever been. All I wanted from him was HONESTY. No matter what the truth may be, I NEEDED it. I think I wanted to believe him so much that I became blind to everything he was all about.

I just remember hearing this song and it was a slap on the face, a wake-up call. I shouldn't depend on anyone but myself, because EVERYBODY will let you down at some point. In hearing this song I became more self-reliant, and I always try to remember, honesty is hardly ever heard, so I never expect it, that way when something does turn out to be true, it's a gift. I would never trade that experience for anything, I will remember it for years to come.