Hiding The Tears

Dont Let the Sun Catch You Crying was a chart topper at a very important point of my life and it became a personal mantra for me for the summer before my senior year all the way up to graduation. It was the year that my boyfriend of two years died in an automobile crash just two weeks after his graduation in June. It was a serious relationship and we were already making plans for when I graduated the following year that included the possibility of marriage. To say that his death hit me hard would be an understatement. Friends and family did their best to comfort and console me, but none seemed to realize or believe the depth of our feelings. So to keep them from worrying too much I took the songs advice and did my best to never let the sun catch me crying.
During the day I went about life as if everything was normal as was I, but in the solitude of my room the tears came freely and I spent hours talking to Jim, doing my best to make sense of the tragedy. When school resumed in the fall one of the things I hated most was the pitying glances I got from fellow studentsnot because I had lost Jim so tragically, but because I was a senior girl without a fellow to escort me to all the events that would be my last as a student in high school. Truth was I didnt care if I went to most of the things, and the ones I did want to attend I had no problem with showing up alone. Later that year I did start seeing a guy from another school, but it was mostly to make everyone else happy, including him.
The song always reminds me of that time in my life when life seemed always just a bit out of sync to me. In later years I have found it unhealthy and nearly impossible to be so stoic when emotions overwhelm, but back then I followed Gerry and the Pacemakers advise and hid my pain from the sun.