I Can't Be What You Want Me To

I remember the first time I came out to my parents.  It was a good day, I had spent some time with my friends, and they all pushed me to finally tell my parents the secret I've been hiding for three years.  To come out of the closet.

They had no idea what or who I was.  And I was scared of breaking their hearts.

But I couldn't hide it anymore.  They had to know.

I sat them down at the dinner table, took a deep breath, and just came right out and say it.

"Mom, Dad, I'm an actor."

They cried.  They screamed.  They demanded that I follow my father's footsteps into the Air Force.

But I could not.  It was not my destiny to fight.

It was my destiny... to entertain.

Okay, admittedly, it wasn't as dramatic as all that, but it was pretty severe.  For a few weeks afterwards, my father kept trying to push me into the military way, talking about the war all the time, trying to instill a sense of patriotism in me.  Don't get me wrong, I love my country.  But seriously, I'm a coward.  Given the choice, I'd rather go on stage and make fun of the war than actually be a part of it.

Guns are dangerous.  And I just don't approve.

I'm sorry, Dad, that I couldn't be the soldier you wanted to raise.